Dee Dialogue — A Thorn in the Side

20 Mar

Dee-lightful Musings
of an Old Country Woman

The real-life conversations between Dee (a 71-year-old
country woman) and her 44-year-old neighbor, Vicki

A Thorn in the Side
March 20, 2013

VICKI:  I’m having a pain in my side today.

DEE:  Which side?

VICKI:  Here, on my left side.

DEE:  It might be your appendix.

VICKI:  Which side is your appendix on?  I always forget.

DEE:  I don’t know.

VICKI:  But didn’t Tony have appendicitis when he was a kid?

DEE:  Yeah, but I can’t never remember if it was his right or my right or his left or my left.  I could call him and ask.

VICKI:  No, I’ll just look it up on the internet.  (at Dee’s computer)  Okay, it says here that your appendix is on your right side, in the abdominal area.

DEE:  Your right or my right?

VICKI:  It would be my right because it’s my body. 

DEE:  So, it’d be my left?

VICKI:  Yes, but your appendix would be on your right, or my left.

DEE:  That’s why I get so confused.  Everybody has different directions.  If we all had the same directions, it’d be a lot easier.

VICKI:  Well, we can all have the same directions, as long as we never face each other.

DEE:  Have you ever had an operation?

VICKI:  I had my tonsils out when I was five.

DEE:  So, nobody’s ever seen your insides?

VICKI:  No, why?

DEE:  Well, I figure your backwards in every other way, maybe your insides are all backwards, too, then we’d both have the same rights and the same lefts.  You oughtta go get a X-ray done.

VICKI:  Dee, that doesn’t make any sense at all!

DEE:  Well, if you had a brain like mine, it’d make a lot of sense!

Copyright © 2013 by Vicki Robison
All rights reserved

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One Response to “Dee Dialogue — A Thorn in the Side”

  1. djmatticus March 20, 2013 at 8:47 pm #

    Sooooooo funny!

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